It's All Relative-ish

Well I'm back to blogging. Hold your applause. Haha! No seriously though, I can't hear myself think. Please folks, sit down. Please--oh, alright then, have it out.

When I checked my blog analytics tracker-thingy yesterday, I was surprised to find that the majority of people who are visiting nowadays are not even from my state. So I guess I need to give you mystery people a chance to get to know me. And what better way to do that then through a chain-mail friendship survey?!?!

I went on MySpace for the first and last time of my life to find one of these surveys. The one I found it was on a page of a girl who's about twelve, so it was pretty amusing to fill out, to say the least. It was 70 questions in all, but in interest of me having a life and friends and such, I chose the best of the bunch to answer. Enjoy!

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7. COLD OR HOT?
It’s none of your business, Mrs. Perry.¹

8. TALK OR SLEEP?
I talk in my sleep. Multitask Man! Wham, pow! (His only weakness? Awkward camera angles.)

10. TOP OR BOTTOM?
I’ll take a shameless innuendo to go, please! No, hold the pickle.

11. INSIDE OR OUTSIDE?
Are you deaf? I said hold the pickle! No, not—Do I have to do this myself? It’s not hard!

12. STICKY OR GOOEY?
Sigh. I’m going to do the mature thing and stop now. At some point, it’s just too easy.²

13. IF YOU HAD TO KILL ONE, WHICH WOULD IT BE: A CLOWN OR A MIME?
I wonder if anyone has ever been faced with this scenario in real life. That would be one hell of a costume party.

14. OF YOUR FIVE SENSES, WHICH IS YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE?
I feel like any joke I could try to make here would pale in comparison to how hilarious this question is. I’m imagining a 12-year-old girl shouting this in someone’s face. Preferably a senior citizen.

18. DO YOU LIKE YOUR PHOTO BEING TAKEN?
What was that clicking noise? Where are you hiding?!

20. HAVE YOU EVER BLABBED A SECRET?
No Jimmy, I said you were “La Dopted!” It’s Spanish for “unloved!”

21. WHICH FRIEND IS MOST LIKELY TO TALK ABOUT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK?
Steve, perchance?

22. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS THE MOST INTERESTING LIFE IN YOUR SOCIAL GROUP?
On the bright side Jimmy, it is pretty interesting your real parents abandoned you.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID SOMETHING TO INTENTIONALLY MAKE SOMEONE MAD?
I called the Spanish football player Andres Iniesta (see right) a cheating little poop-nose during the World Cup Final when he kept flopping to draw penalties, but I don’t think he heard.

30. ARE YOU A GOOD COMMUNICATOR?
My friends often ask me if what I just said were real words.

33. WHEN DO YOU CRY?
When my sports teams lose in the playoffs.³

43. WHERE DID YOUR PET GET ITS NAME?
My first dog’s name was Fluke, so when we got a puppy we were going to name it another part of a whale. Beluga, Dorsal, Baleen, all came into the discussion.
We ended up naming her Magic.
It makes sense somehow.

48. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERHERO POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
You know the Pied Piper with rats and kids? I want to be able to do that, except do it by name. i.e. Play an enchanting tune that compells all of the guys named Thad in the world head to the Philippines. Thadilippines, anyone?ᶿ

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¹ Run, Alexander!

² Like your mom.

³ And when he watched Toy Story 3.

ᶿ National Motto: “Hi, I’m Thad.” “My name’s Thad too!” “That's such a zany coincidence!” “Why are we in the Philippines again?”
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~~~Justin~~~