There Can Be Only One!

For those of you who know what the title is referencing, don't get excited, I haven't seen the movie. However, I have seen something far, far better.

Speaking of furry creatures acting out select scenes from obscure movies in less than a minute, let's talk about heroes!

No, not the TV show. Hayden Panettiere will have to wait for another day. I'm talking about my personal heroes. Yes, I could identify the usual suspects--God, my parents, terminal illness survivors, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, etc. But I'm going to be far more materialistic and shallow, because if I wasn't, this would be an extremely boring post. Lets face it--if famous heroes were goldfish, and your attention span was fish food, well, your goldfish would go up to that big glass (porcelain?) bowl in the sky and your iPhone would be submerged in a pile of little multi-colored flakes bigger than the city of Mexican Water, Arizona (yes, it's a real place).

So without further ado (even though there was no build-up whatsoever), here's a countdown of my top-10 personal heroes. This is somehow relevant to your life. I just know it.

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#10 BARATS AND BERETA

These guys are visionaries. Five years ago, they were roommates at Gonzaga University, one majoring in Film Production and the other in Theatre. They decide to make a few videos on their spare time, and now they're Internet sensations. It was basically a match made in heaven, except nobody in their right mind would mistake Gonzaga as any form of afterlife but purgatory (Just kidding, Julia! Sort of!)



I just have to add that when Bereta says "You're out of milk." at 1:06, his facial expression and voice inflection are absolutely priceless. I crack up every time I watch it.

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#9 THE 2007 BOISE STATE FOOTBALL TEAM

I know a lot of people aren't that into football, or sports in general, and they'll just roll their eyes and think to themselves, "Oh yeah, a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other for the amusement of others. Soooo heroic." Point noted. However, doesn't the Pope do the same thing EVERY DAY?!? Yeah, metaphorical smackdown. You chew on that one, buster.

Seriously though, I watched the 2007 Fiesta Bowl live when I was 15 and was utterly inspired. Oklahoma had barely missed playing for the national championship, and in fact their only loss that season had come at the hands of the #1 team. They had six different current NFL starters on their roster, and nine NFL players overall. Boise State had no business winning this game. But somehow, they did. Just watch.



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#8 THE PINK AND YELLOW POWER RANGERS


Thank you, Pink and Yellow Power Rangers. You provided sex appeal to a show that oh-so-desperately needed it. I mean, the entire cast is wearing bulky full-body leather suits 24/7 (and not the good kind of leather). To add insult to injury, they spend the last 5-6 minutes of every episode combining into a huge Transformer-like contraption to take on a variety of mad scientists/devious villains/alien overlords who always seem to have a Growth-Ray handy (maybe they have a "sharesies" policy). No matter how many times I bitterly criticized you both for being the most useless and cowardly of all the Power Rangers when I was 7, I thank you for your ability to be strangely alluring and adding a pleasant but somewhat confusing aspect to my childhood.

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I'll continue the list of personal heroes in my next post. Until then, don't let the bed bugs bite! Or the sleep fondlers fondle. Especially the latter. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

~~Justin~~