If you ask a girl what she's looking for in a guy, 9 times out of 10 here's what she's going to say:
a) A guy who makes me laugh!
b) A guy who considers my feelings!
c) A guy who likes me for more than my body!
d) A guy who's not a jerk!
And of course, the classic,
e) I just want a nice guy!
Ah, the nice guy (click for handy reference chart). Given the sheer number of heart-to-heart "convos" and empowering self-help books devoted to snaring this mythical nice guy, you'd be led to believe he's a incredibly endangered species on the brink of extinction. Perhaps, these discussions often conclude, he lives on some secluded desert island, in the Tropical Rain Forest of True Love, inside The Cave of My Other Half, located along the banks of the Romantic Idealism River, which flows into the Sea of Broken Hearts at the Estuary of A Metaphor That's Rapidly Falling Apart.It's a nice story. Most girls believe it. Why? Because that's what feels good to believe. Don't have a man in your life? No worries! Just pull out the Guys-Are-All-Jerks-Card! Don't blame my relationship troubles on me! All guys are jerks! I'm just waiting for a nice guy to come along. He sure is taking his sweet time!
Bullshit, I say.
Nice guys aren't a rarity. If you see a dude in the halls at school, there's a good 30-40% chance that he's a guy who will treat you right, consider your feelings, make you laugh, and do all the things you say you want from him.
Don't believe me? Of course you don't. But hear me out.
There are a few reasons why girls believe there aren't any nice guys in existence, anywhere. The first is due to their own inability to communicate. If they think they might like a guy, girls tend to keep their distance and wait for him to make the first move. Problem is, nice guys are considerate of the feelings of the girl, and if she's playing hard to get, he's going to assume she's not into him and leave her alone. So when a guy finally makes a move, he's usually some manifestation of that cocky dude with the low-ride jeans and a pencil-thin Douchebag beard to match (I think we all know a guy like this). Here's a hint, ladies--this guy is a jerk. You might have been in a room with a dozen nice guys, but the only one you had the initiative (or lack thereof) to speak with was, frankly, the biggest @$$hole in the place.
The second reason: being a nice guy sucks, especially with women who still go to class Monday through Friday. Why? Because you're a commodity that's supposedly desired with Gollum-like intensity, but you still have to go to great lengths to get dates. Even when you do manage to snag yourself a blushin' Betty, your troubles ain't over. Girls at this age are all rather high-maintenance (don't deny it, ladies). With hormones fluctuating with alarming severity, girls seem to always be on the verge of either crying, laughing or wanting to have a discussion about their feelings. Attempting to be sensitive in reaction to all these shifts in emotion is exhausting in its own right--attempting to recognize such situations and head them off before they explode in your face? That just about takes the cake. Being a nice guy in a committed teenage relationship can have its benefits, but it also frequently feels like you're running the Boston Marathon on a hot summer day--and as the giddiness of the new relationship wears off, the people manning the water stations along the route begin to substitute cool liquids for swift kicks in the 'nads.
Lastly, the third and most obvious reason--girls simply don't give nice guys much of a reason to stay nice guys. If you're a nice guy, what are the benefits? Sure, you get the self-satisfaction of being morally righteous, but that only takes you so far. You have to face the facts--you're not going to get the girl most of the time by being sensitive to her feelings, it just doesn't work like that. Even if you do get the girl, you're going to have a very happy girlfriend but not a very happy relationship-experience, because you'll be taken for granted and then quite likely ditched for greener pastures. You wonder why more nice guys don't exist? That's like wondering why you don't see more Komodo Dragons at Petco. If there isn't a genuine demand for nice guys or much incentive for being a nice guy, I ask you, why would he choose to be one?
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Yesterday Justin Says Words received 276 page views. This would probably be more exciting if I wasn't so confused where all these views were coming from (my previous one-day high was 93 views). Anyway, to all the new readers whoever you are, thanks for stopping by. I hope you liked what you read and come back for more!
-- Justin
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